Saturday, June 20, 2020

Head Game

This is a short I wrote after having an odd dream about being friends with one of my favorite recording artists, Julian Cope, whom I have never actually met. The dream had incredible detail, which, unusually for me in this case, I remembered very well after waking.



“Julian Cope and I were at his Holiday Camp, a resort on a 5 acre plot, with several long two story motel-style buildings, some apartments and condos, a 4 star restaurant, swimming pools, weight rooms, a spa, and plenty of parking. These kinds of places were very popular in 1983, although it was certainly interesting that Copey would have bought in to one. It was just the kind of financial portfolio diversity that one might expect from Zoo records management, but not from Julian. This would seem to me to have been the kind of thing he would have despised.”
“We were just having a conversation about future renovation plans when he received a call from a young woman, which he took at the front desk. His desk manager gave him the message as we sat in the lobby, a spacious one with earth-tones and blocky, rather unattractive furnishings. He talked to the woman excitedly, and at times even furtively, flirting giddily while I sat waiting, his eyes glancing up to meet mine, and then his head whipping around, barely preceding the rest of his body. He looked a bit like a teenage girl on the phone rather than a young man in his mid-twenties. After their conversation, I found out that it was his ex-girlfriend on the phone. She was coming to visit, and was bringing an ‘attractive friend.’ That is how he described her to me, apparently reporting verbatim what she had told him, complete with eyebrows raising, a tantalizing voice inflection, and what I instantly perceived as scare quotes, although I believe he probably meant them sincerely. I began to wonder if I had a very interesting evening ahead of me, or merely a tedious one.”
“Julian continued to talk to me about his ex for the next hour or so, interspersed with plans for the additions and updates to this newly acquired property and reminiscences of other events that had brought him to this moment in his life. The Teardrop Explodes had only recently broken up, and he should have been starting his solo music career, but to the surprise of many, he decided against it. I began to feel fidgety about meeting this friend of his ex. He still hadn't told me either girl's name, just useless background information that my brain processed as mere filler, and thus filtered out. I know he talked about her a lot in that hour or so before their arrival, but I just don't remember what it is he told me.”
“We were still in the lobby when the car drove up, and Julian suddenly became very animated, a huge smile on his face, and his arms and legs flailing about excitedly. He clutched the arms of the armchair in which he sat and sprang up, lifting his feet up and onto the cushioned seat. Then he jumped up and ran around toward the door. I hadn't even had a chance to look at the arriving ex until we both came out of the double glass doors, Julian running out and me following. It was a convertible of some dull color, perhaps dark red or brown, and it was parked on an incline near the Holiday Camp sign, almost facing down, as in to a ditch, from our vantage point. There were 3 people in the car. A woman driver, a woman in the backseat on the passenger side, and a figure all in black in the front passenger seat, wearing a wide and flat-brimmed hat with a small bowl.”
“I was still behind Julian when he clutched at his head with both hands, and almost sank to his knees, screaming, ‘Nooooo! Noooooo! Not The Spanish!’ He then began running, still screaming, out to the left of where the car was parked, out toward the parking lots in the motel section of the resort. I immediately followed, wondering what on earth ‘The Spanish’ meant, and why he was so horrifyingly upset by seeing his ex and her friends parking their car, and not even bothering to go out and greet them. As I ran to try to catch up with Julian, he was flailing his arms wildly, still shrieking, ‘Noooooo!’ I tried to yell ahead to him to stop, but he presumably couldn't hear a thing I said.”
“Once we had run well past the ex's car, out into the mostly empty lot beyond, Julian banked to the right in an arc that put him on a direct course with a large, old 4-door luxury car, like an Oldsmobile or something. He opened the passenger side back door very swiftly and jumped in. He closed the door just as I approached, and he was still quite hysterical, flapping around front to back and side to side in the comfortable, roomy luxury car backseat. I opened the door and poured quickly in, shutting the door behind me, feeling the intense silence of the interior in contrast with the sobs and grunts of this poor, sad rock star. I grabbed him by both arms as he continued his incessant low wailing. ‘Julian,’ I yelled over and over, shaking him slightly, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. He was looking out the front window of the car, vaguely in the direction of his ex. ‘Julian,’ I continued, ‘it's going to be alright! It's going to be alright!’ I repeated this like a mantra and gazed into his eyes, waiting for him to acknowledge mine. He began to settle down, and I kept repeating, ‘it's going to be alright,’ despite the sinking feeling that I had no idea if it was. Finally he stopped his ranting, which had decreased to a mere mutter before ending, and without shifting his head at all, his eyes moved to meet mine. We stared at each other for a long time, but I have no memory of coming out of that car.

All rights reserved. ©2019, 2020 Todd Franklin Osborn

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